You never know when it is your time, but it sure doesn’t seem fair when someone is taken away far too early. You feel like you just aren’t finished with that person, there is so much left to do, to explore, times that you still need to laugh and cry with them. You question why? You wonder if something more could have been done. You are mad and sad at the same time. So many feelings swirling around in your mind and you try hard to make sense of it. But you know what? Sometimes you just can’t make sense of the situation and that is so frustrating.
Today, I heard about a 49-year-old woman that was diagnosed with cervical cancer a month ago and today she passed away. It came as a shock to hear this news. I don’t know the family personally, but my husband works closely with her husband and his heart hurts for him as does mine. So, as I sit here today to write this post, I can’t help but think this could be me or anyone I love in the blink of an eye. The plain and simple truth is that life is short. You’re here one minute, then gone the next. Over these past 13 years that I have been dealing with my Multiple Sclerosis diagnosis, I have learned that time is fleeting and that I don’t know what tomorrow will bring, but I still have thought that there always IS a tomorrow on the horizon for me. Even though I have spent days, weeks, months and years putting things off or taking advantage of opportunities that arise when I don’t feel well, because “there’s always tomorrow”, but now I am left questioning this. Am I sure there will be a tomorrow for me or for my loved ones? Hearing things like this 49-year-old woman who is now gone makes me rethink this whole philosophy that there is always tomorrow. I’m not talking about for vacuuming, I’m talking about for the big, meaningful things. Why does it have to take tragedies, losing a loved one, near death experiences, serious illnesses, to open our eyes that we need to start living our life like there is no guarantees of tomorrow? The sad thing is that some people never see the reality of this before its too late.
When my time comes, will I be proud of my accomplishments? Would I be happy with the way I conducted myself? Have I touched someone’s life in the way that was positive and uplifting? Right now, I can come up with a few areas that I need to improve upon. I need to not procrastinate, stop being negative, stop being pessimistic. Start doing, start enjoying, and start living with urgency. Life is too short to hate. Life is too short to not go on those trips and make some memories with the people you love. Life is too short to not see a Garth Brooks concert. Life is too short to not go camping with the grandkids. Life is too short to not ride our RZR on every back road we can find. Life is meant to be lived! Enjoy those moments, take them in. Breathe deeply and fully. Savor them!
So, I need to take advantage of every day that I am given to try and live it in a way I will feel most proud. I need to stop worrying about all the things that really don’t matter and the things I can’t change. I need to make sure I live each day in a way that my family and friends always knows how much I care about them and how important they are to me. I need to continue to try and reach out and help others when I can. I need to be kinder to others and to myself. I need to sing and dance more. I need to live well.
I’m not waiting for another tragedy or disaster to strike, this is my turning point.
As Mark Twain has said, “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do, so throw off the bowlines, sail away from safe harbor, catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore, Dream, Discover.”