I have spent the last week packing and unpacking my suitcase for a girls trip to Mexico. I’m sure I have twice as many clothes as I need, but at least I won’t have to go naked.
I can’t tell you how excited I am for this trip with friends that I have known for over 40 years…..you heard that right, 40 years. How many people can say they have friends for that long? I feel extremely blessed to be able to do this trip while I still have some energy and mobility to do it. I’ve come to a point in my disease that I feel I should be doing these things now, I shouldn’t be waiting….MS is unpredictable and I am not willing to “wait and see” what next year will be like. I also don’t want to be dramatic, but…….
I’ve noticed that I am weaker than I have been in past years. I try to get up and move regularly; I golf, I do some easy yard work, I play with the kids, do yoga, etc but I am definitely weaker and run out of steam quicker than in the past. I also experience some pretty severe muscle spasticity at times and have taken medication to help with that for the past 15 years. These spasms tend to come and go and have no regular rhyme or reason to them and they vary in severity but they are always uncomfortable and many times painful. Anyway, I contacted the MS clinic to see what I can do to help ease them and as I was talking, the nurse made mention that the medication I take for the spasticity is a muscle relaxant that can cause muscle weakness. BINGO, there is my answer. Now I know that it is me that has caused my muscles to be weaker so now I know I need to be intentional on maintaining and building muscle tone. I guess I will be heading to the pool when I get back from Mexico. Swimming seems to be the only other physical activity I do that I don’t have painful repercussions the next week. At the end of the day, the nurse told me I could increase that particular medication but I am not prepared to do that now that I am aware of the side effect. So, I will figure out how to get some more strength without setting myself up for failure and go from there.
Right now, I am sitting in the Calgary airport waiting for my plane and feeling guilty that I had a wheelchair totake me to my gate, even though all the while I am telling myself that I only have so much energy for a day and I need to conserve whenever possible and it’s ok Raegan. But Raegans self talk tells me otherwise so I am doing my best to not listen to the Negative Nelly in my ear! I have to say a big thanks to my husband and family for allowing me to make this dream a possibility! I am truly blessed!
I am so looking forward to seeing my friends and family that I can’t even go the route of feeling guilty so that’s the end of it for me! Up, up and Away!